Made By Kali

Everyone, meet Lazytown. Everyone, meet Phoenix Wright. Good.

Summary: What exactly was it that caused Phoenix Wright to go on such a long hiatus? A case in a little known place called LazyTown helps convince him that everyone else is crazy.

Phoenix Wright stared up at the roof of the very pink tent and wondered why on Earth he had come to this little town in the middle of nowhere. Well, he knew why he had come, he just wondered why he had thought it had been a good idea.

The first warning sign should have been when the letter arrived in a pink envelope, was written in pink ink, and was covered in hearts and flowers. Furthermore, it was obviously written by a young girl, all loopy letters and smiley-face dotted i’s. He wasn’t even sure what the case he was supposed to be taking on was, just that someone was in trouble.

The second warning sign should have been the fact they had to take a train cross-country because there wasn’t an airport anywhere near this little hole-in-the-wall. Actually, he wasn’t sure why there was even a “they”, but somehow Maya and Pearl had talked their way into this disaster of a road trip. There was only one way in and out of the place, like someone demented deity just picked up the little town and dropped it into the surrounding fields, and then added the one method of escape as an afterthought.

The final, and most telling, warning should have been that the first and only “normal” person they had met was a hyper-active child who looked like she had been dipped in a vat of Pepto-Bismal and then given a bucket of amphetamines. Everyone, and everything else, looked like they were molded in plastic and then set out in the sun so long it partially melted.

“Hey, Nick,” Maya said quietly. Quietly for Maya, anyway. “You know that girl we met.”

“Yes,” he whispered back. “Stephanie.”

“Yeah, her. You don’t think Max and Regina could have…”

“No. Regina would have been around ten when she was born. Besides, I don’t think she’s chosen between Max or Trilo.” Let’s see…rich, famous magician or an inanimate object with a hand up it’s ass. Tough decision.

“What if Max and Trilo had-”

He tuned her out completely. Trying to explain the mechanics of why that pairing would not work could quite possibly break what little was left of his mind. Aside from which, the girl was the only person they had met so far who did not look like a puppet. She really did have an uncanny resemblance to the magician and the animal trainer, minus the large, trained tiger that didn’t particularly like him.

Rolling over did nothing to make him more comfortable on the bumpy ground and he sighed loudly. He couldn’t believe that there hadn’t been a single hotel in the town; there wasn’t even a bed and breakfast. Where did other people stay when they visited? Did anyone ever come to visit? Could anyone ever come to visit? He felt like he had accidentally stepped into some sort of bizarro world.

The tent had been the best alternative Stephanie could offer. The house she stayed in with her uncle only had two bedrooms, and Pearl had already claimed the shaggy pink carpet in Stephanie’s bedroom. No doubt the two of them were eating Bagel Bites, doing each other’s hair and discussing Maya and Mr. Nick’s ‘true love.’

He and Maya had been foisted off with the very pink tent, two very, very pink sleeping bags, a (pink) can of insect repellent and a disturbingly knowing wink from Pearl. Rolling over again only lodged a sharp pebble into his ribs. Damnnit

At least it was summer and a clear night. He only had to get through tonight and then he could find out what the heck had happened and who the hell he was supposed to be representing.

To be continued…