10
2007
Home Sweet Home
An article by 
Title: Home Sweet Home
Pairing: Max/Regina
Rating: PG-ish
Summary: Parents can be so embarrassing.
Spoilers: JFA
Max had never been so terrified in his life. He’d been scared quite a few times in his life (these things happened when you put on a harness and jumped off of things for a living,) but this surpassed even the time he spent waiting to be acquitted for the murder of Russel Berry.
There were no streetlights along the dirt road, and he was thankful that he’d decided to rent an SUV. He had driven over pot holes that he swore would have swallowed up a smaller car. Luckily there were no tell-tale circles of light that heralded a deer caught in his headlights. Although he wouldn’t feel to bad about the effects of a two ton vehicle on the local wildlife, he was certain his passenger would be traumatized.
Regina was barely illuminated by the lights on the dashboard, but he could see her twirling her hair absentmindedly as she stared out the passenger-side window. He would have liked to point out some of the smaller animals likely to be out at this time of night, but he was afraid of driving into one of seemingly bottomless pits along the road while he was distracted.
A particularly violent bump nearly made him let go of the wheel and Regina let out a startled squeak as she bumped her head on the window. “Sorry, Princess,” Max muttered as he squinted ahead at the ridiculously winding road. It had been bad enough when they had been passing through the thick cornfields, but now the ride up the mountain was downright treacherous. Sure, he’d done it before, but it had been in a sturdy pick-up truck and not a fabulous, new SUV.
“Are we there yet?” his passenger asked plaintively.
He didn’t blame her, they’d been driving for almost eight hours, and the last time they’d even seen another car had been over an hour ago. It was now well after midnight and he wanted nothing more than to get to their destination and pass out on the nearest, soft surface. Even stopping the car to take a nap in the backseat was starting to sound good, but stopping a car on the side of a near deserted road, in the middle of the night, with an attractive young lady seemed like a good way to attract one of the few police cars the county owned.
“Almost there, sweetie,” he said, looking for the sharp turn at “the big pile of tires” that he knew was coming up soon. The words were barely out of his mouth when he spotted the mound of rubber and took the hairpin turn up onto an impossibly steep driveway. His sense of dread grew exponentially as the pitch of the slope increased. He could, theoretically, turn around and go find a motel somewhere.
Unfortunately, Regina had spotted the light ahead. “Oh, we’re here!” she announced cheerfully, suddenly perking up.
He pulled up into the light of the porch, carefully parking behind a station wagon with no wheels.
Regina hopped out, heedless of the dusty ground and hooting of a lone owl. Max was less gungho, and he reluctantly got out of his escape vehicle and stared up at the house ahead. The white paint was peeling slightly off of the full wraparound porch, and he could just make out the new addition that had been added off the side. He carefully made sure he had locked the car, twice, and dragged his feet as Regina hopped up the front stoop.
The front door swung open and he blinked into the light streaming out. He could just make out a mass of pink hair pulled back into a severe bun. “Hi, Ma,” he said with little enthusiasm.
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