Made By Kali » WTF

:(

Kali — Thu, 25 Dec 2008 00:59:19 +0000

Guy didn’t attach his trailer to the hitch correctly. I hit it doing 65. It was ugly.

Anonymous vs Scientology hits the streets.

PSA – Ladies, Know Thyself

Kali — Sat, 10 May 2008 20:17:42 +0000

Why is the female population so damn reluctant to learn what’s going on with their own bodies? I’m continually struck by the ignorance perpetuated not only by media, but by parents who refuse their kids sex education and girls and women who flat out choose not to know.

Ladies, you need to be comfortable with your cooter, pals with your punani and homies with your hoohah. One of these days (when you’re home alone) get out a hand mirror, spread your legs and get to know your vulva and vagina.

Even if you are ‘grossed out’ by your most feminine bits, you need to understand what it looks like, what it feels like, what it smells like and what comes out of it. Everyone is a little different and you can’t always go by ‘textbook’ descriptions of what is going on down there. By knowing what your body is normally like, you can tell when something is ‘off’, when your ovulating (if do/don’t want to get pregnant,) if you have any STD symptoms… Honestly, I don’t understand why I’d even have to try to convince people to understand their own bodies.

Anyway, here’s a list of things that I’ve found that women don’t know, but should.

A little white, yellow or clear daily discharge is quite normal. Unless it’s unusually textured (globby or cottage cheese) or smells ‘bad’, you have nothing to worry about. If you know your vajayjay, then you can tell when discharge is unusual for you.
DOUCHING IS VERY VERY BAD FOR YOU! Do not do it, as it disrupts the PH and organism balance that helps your vagina keep infections at bay. If you notice an ‘off’ smell, it’s time to visit your gynecologist, not try to perfume the smell away.
All you need to do to keep your vulva clean is use a little, mild soap and water on the outer surfaces. No need to scrub, stick soap in the vagina or wash it more than once a day. Again, if there’s an ‘off’ smell, see a doctor.
You should see a gynecologist when you reach 18 or when you become sexually active. Ideally you should get an annual exam thereafter. Being a virgin does NOT make you immune to infections or even cervical cancer.
Your hymen is at the very entrance to your vagina. It’s pretty easy to break for most women (via tampons, active play, horseback riding, etc) and not having one is certainly not an indicator of whether you have or have not have sex. (It’s possible to still retain part of the hymen if you DO have sex, too.)
It’s quite possible to be allergic to condoms. You could have a latex allergy OR you could be allergic to ‘Nonoxynol-9′ which is found on some condoms as a spermicidal agent and in many spermicidal products. Try using a polyurethane condom lubricated with non-spermicidal, water or silicone based lubrication. (If you need help locating these products, try Babeland.
Those fancy-pants underthings from Victoria’s Secret may look fabulous, but if they’re not made out of breathable cotton, they could be giving you a yeast or other infection. Save the lacey panties for special occasions and stick to plain, cotton panties for everyday wear.

And that is the end of my TMI PSA. As always, I am not a doctor, so if you have any serious questions, ask your gynecologist or try the local Planned Parenthood.

PSA: My Boots are Awesome

My Toaster Is the Devil

Kali — Mon, 05 May 2008 14:45:25 +0000

Seriously, how the hell does this even happen?

I Hate My Toaster

What are they teaching kids in school?

Kali — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 02:54:32 +0000

Things like this make me want to beat people with my History and Religious Studies textbooks.

THE USA WAS NOT FOUNDED ON CHRISTIANITY. THE US HAS NO OFFICIAL RELIGION. CHRISTIANS IN THE US ARE NOT BEING PERSECUTED*, SO SIT DOWN AND STFU!

At least the ladies and gents of Stupid Free give me hope for humanity.

*Yes, Christians in some other countries are persecuted. Those countries are not the US. 80% of Americans say they are “Christian”, the other 20% really don’t have much leeway to persecute you.

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What is it about Anime OP’s?

Kali — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 15:13:35 +0000

There’s apparently some special law of the universe that states that the more I dislike an anime, the more awesome the theme song and OST are going to be.

For example: The F-Zero anime is made of fail (at least the English dub is), but
the Japanese theme song is made of epic win.

Neon Genesis Evangelion? Hate it, but I’ll be damned if that isn’t an awesomesauce opening theme.

The opposite works as well. As you know by now, I adore Sailor Moon. But I freakin’ HATE the original OP. Then, to add insult to injury, the English dub kept the theme song instead of changing like the Japanese between seasons.

Naruto’s been bouncing between awesome themes and crappy ones. But then again, I stopped watching the anime long ago and stuck with the manga.

WTF Ebay Auction – Incubus Possessed Ring

Kali — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 01:07:24 +0000

This is quite possibly the unintentionally funniest auction I have seen in years.

Incubus Possessed Ring

“” Donovan ” is an Extremely Over Sexual Male Incubus Nymph, who Comes to you in your Sleep, and Satisfies your Every Sexual Need and Desire !”

“Also, this Spirit Invocation was Performed on the Right Day of the Week, when the Lunar Moon was in the Right Phase, and using all the Necessary Herbs, Incense, Candles, Flowers and Chants that true Wiccan Spells and Invocations Require to be Effective !”

All the funnier because the seller cuts and pastes the same text with every piece of similar jewelry. AND

In Western medieval legend, an incubus (plural incubi) is a demon in male form supposed to lie upon sleepers, especially women, in order to have sexual intercourse with them. It was believed to do this in order to spawn other incubi. The incubus drains energy from the woman on whom it performs sexual intercourse in order to sustain itself, and some sources indicate that it may be identified by its unnaturally cold penis.[1] Religious tradition holds that repeated intercourse with such a spirit by either males or females (the female version of the incubus is called a succubus) may result in the deterioration of health, or even death.

– Thank you Wikipedia

Bleach Painted Parasol on Ebay

I Hate My Toaster

Kali — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 15:26:51 +0000

I just noticed (after a year) that my toaster only has two marked settings. “Poptarts” and “Dark”. The only two things I can do effectively is eat a Poptart (yuck) or burn my toast to a crisp. FU toaster. Related posts: My Toaster Is the Devil I Hate Wedding Planning Related posts:

I Can’t Believe I Wore This

Kali — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 23:22:26 +0000

So I kidnapped a “Flashback Friday” prompt. Namely “what was your favorite childhood thing?” Being the kind of girl that I am, I had lots of “favorite” things, but here’s a very conspicuous one.

Please note the skirt OVER the leggings, the oh-so-80′s sequined headband, and the suntan stockings. I think our teacher just plain hated us. (I should also add that this wasn’t really red, so much as orange-red.) But I’ll be darned if I didn’t love dressing up in this and the many other atrocities inflicted on us during the course of my dancing career

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How Many Canibals Would My Boy Feed?

Kali — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 00:29:33 +0000

Created by OnePlusYou – Free Online Dating

What do you feed your kitty?

Pakistan Removes Itself from the Internet

Kali — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 20:43:19 +0000

I find this both hysterical and deeply disturbing. WTF?

The telecom company that carries most of Pakistan’s traffic, PCCW, has found it necessary to shut Pakistan off from the Internet while they filter out the malicious routes that a Pakistani ISP, PieNet, announced earlier today. Evidently PieNet took this step to enforce a decree from the Pakistani government that ISP’s must block access to YouTube because it was a source of blasphemous content. – Richard Stiennon

Read the Article

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